Friday, March 14, 2014

Life has a funny way of doing things...

Well I guess it all starts out with your parents taking a liking to one another and here you come!  You are born into this big wide world with so many opportunities and the possibilities are endless!  You go through childhood playing in the dirt and throwing rocks.  As a young girl I loved to play house!  My favorite cousin whom was a boy would be the dad and I would be the mom.  He would go to work and I would cook on my chalk drawn stove and take care of the baby dolls.  We would sit on some chairs and pretend to go to the grocery store, collecting acorns and pine needles along the way to throw together some soup.  As a young child, this was life!  As a young child our family lost everything to a house fire.  We moved into a tiny travel trailer, then a truck camper shell, then an 8x10 shack, yet I never felt under privileged or poor...this was life as I knew it and it was great!  In school you start to learn about politics, math, and economics, and realize there will be bills you have to pay and you start thinking about what you want to be when you grow up.  Most kids want to be a teacher or a doctor or maybe even a fire fighter.  You start to envision having a job, being married with your two kids living in that house with the white picket fence with a little mailbox to get your mail.  This is what life is, all planned out and perfect!
I believe my first huge life lesson happened when I was eighteen.  This is when I realized maybe we don't always have a say.  Maybe there are plans for us that we don't always want.  My favorite cousin I mentioned before had gone missing and three days later was found in a ravine, he had suffered a fatal car accident.  This was not in my plan and surely wasn't in his plan!  I remember carrying his casket to his final resting place and thinking "what am I suppose to do now?"  We were going to have families and meet each other for holidays and stuff when we were older.  How will my life ever be the same?  I had just started my first semester of college at ITT technical institute when the accident happened.  I had just moved into my first place to live closer to school, I had a job to pay my rent.  I fell into a depression.  I had missed some days of school to attend the funeral, which then put me on attendance probation.  They wanted me to come in on Saturdays to make up the hours lost.  I could not, I worked weekends to pay my rent.  I ended up dropping out of school.  Life has a funny way of doing things!

A year later I was going through a dramatic teenager sad break up with a boy and decided to go to Mexico of all places on a Thursday night to go dancing at the clubs.  Fate put me there!  The clubs and streets were empty.  We danced all night in an empty club and were ready to go home when in walked a boy.  Twenty one years later I am married to that "boy"!  Not how I had envisioned meeting my husband.  But that's how my life was planned for me!

A couple years into my relationship with whom is now my husband, my dad became diagnosed with prostate cancer.  We watched my dad suffer for four years in great pain with this disease.  My dad loved kids!  He always hoped for grand babies, unfortunately this was not what was planned for him.  He passed away from difficulties with the cancer.  He never got to walk his daughters down the aisle or meet any of his grand children.   This breaks my heart!  Again, Life has a funny way of doing things!

My boyfriend and I were together for seven years and decided we wanted to have a family together.  No we were not married!  We began trying month after month to conceive a baby.  I was not getting pregnant.  We began seeing infertility specialist, taking fertility classes, and running all types of tests.  We decided if we were trying to have a family maybe we should get married.  My husband asked me to marry him and two weeks later I found out we were pregnant!!  Our wedding day came, i was four months pregnant, sick with morning sickness and already too big for my first choice dress.  Again not what I had envisioned my wedding day to be, but life has a funny way of doing things!

We had a daughter!  We had a house and a white picket fence and even a mailbox!  I remember this was somewhere in my plan.  I thought, "boy we really have it together!"  My husband went to work, I stayed and took care of the baby's and drove to the grocery store and cooked soup.  A couple years passed and it was time to give our daughter a sibling.  We began trying to conceive and sure enough like magic, poof there she was!  We had our second daughter.  Hmmmm, now our tiny little duplex with an add on was closing in around us!  The housing market was booming and there was no way we could afford a bigger home in California.  We began looking into other avenues and came across some jobs in my husbands line of work in phoenix, AZ.  The homes were dirt cheap compared to California and we decided we would go check it out.

Our second trip to Arizona we put in an offer on a home.  We were moving from everything we knew and everyone we loved to make a future for our growing family.  We were in our home a couple years and decided it was time to try for a baby boy!  We needed a boy to carry on the family name, because my husband was the last boy in the family.  I read all kinds of books on how to pick the sex of your baby, and I followed it to a T!  It worked!  We had our son and our family felt complete!!  We had the sense of accomplishment once again!  We had the perfect little family, a beautiful house with a pool.  Life was going great!  A year later my mom was diagnosed with stage four breast cancer.  She fought hard!  She lived for her grand babies!  She would travel out to Arizona at the drop of a hat to babysit for us if something came up!  Nothing gave her more joy then holding and spoiling those babies!

I remember we had just went on a family vacation to San Felipe Mexico.  We stayed in my aunt and uncles casita right on the beach.  My Aunt who is a nurse was there and my Uncle who is a pastor.  My mom was not doing well on this trip.  Her legs were no longer working, we had to lift her in and out of the van and wheel her around in her wheel chair, but she absolutely loved being on this vacation with her grand babies!  She got her short chemo fried hair braided with all the girls, and was just being the best sport!  We returned home and about a month later I received a call that my mom was in the hospital, her kidneys were failing and she had 72 hours to live.  I worked for walmart at the time and after receiving the call I went to my managers office, sat down, and began crying hysterically!  They honestly didn't know what to do with me!  I was released on a medical leave of absence indefinitely.  My mother in law drove out to Arizona to be with the babies while I said my goodbyes to my mom.  I was in California for about a month with my mom on her death bed.  I lived on no sleep, barely any food, a lot of prayer, and pure love for my mom.  My mom was suppose to be around forever!  Who was I going to call when I had a problem or question?  What if my babies don't remember her?  When mom is gone where will home be?  I left my moms bed side to go home and get refreshed, grab some clean clothes, meet with my work, and hug my husband and babies.  I told my mama I would see her in three days and that I loved her!  Two days home I received the call that mom had taken her final breath.  I was 34 years old and felt like an orphan!  How come some people have their parents into their nineties, or eighties, or even seventies?  Why were both my parents taken in their fifties?  It was not fair! has a funny way of doing things!

Shortly after my mom passed away, life's struggles just became ridiculous!  We were forced to short sale our home.  We moved into a rental, it seemed life had the best of us!  About a year later we came across this cute little pink house with a circular driveway, lots of grass and palm trees.  It was 1600 sq feet, but there was acute little add on to one of the rooms making it a perfect sister suite with two additional bedrooms!  The house was on an acre with no HOA and we thought it would be perfect for our family of five!  A little tight, but homey and humble!  With the help from my in laws we were able to purchase the home and we named her Ol'Pinky!  Once again we were settled!  We had our humble home, my husband had a good job and was promoted to manager.  I began working at the elementary school.  Our kids are all growing into nice respectable people, all in school and becoming more independent by the day!  Life is good!

In January of this year I had a health scare that sent me to the emergency room.  My blood pressure was at a dangerously low level!  After lots of blood work and EKG they found my heart was ticking properly, but my potassium levels were low!  I began trying to eat better, quit drinking any beer or wine during the week, taking my vitamins, and just trying to get my over all health top notch!  I was feeling the best I had felt for a long time!  I had lots of energy, I was focusing on my kids and getting them into extra curricular activities.  We went out to eat one night and the food was delicious!  My husband was shocked at how quickly I cleared my plate!  The next day I felt horrible!  I thought it had to be my chicken I ate was not cooked properly!  Days went on and I still felt ill!?  Others around me were also coming down with the stomach flu so I figured it just must be some sorta bug!  Now it was two weeks and I still didn't feel great!  It was the week I typically have my menstrual cycle so I thought maybe there was some PMS mixed with food poisoning!  My menstrual cycle didn't start so I started looking up pre menopause symptoms...they didn't really match.  I googled all my symptoms and pregnancy kept coming up.

I stopped by A local Walgreen's on my way to work one morning and purchased a pregnancy test.  You know 39 years old three kids later I was completely embarrassed walking up to that check stand!  I got home later that day and went straight to the restroom.  Life socked it to me this time...I am pregnant!!  39 years old, my youngest will be 8!  In our humble little home, none of our vehicles able to hold more than five.  We have already moved on from Duplos to choking hazard Legos...time to start over!  Wish me luck!  Life has a funny way of doing things....

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